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=zachriel

Nilli the SuperSwede.
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Mixed signals, universes, and many words.

Journal Entry: Mon Jun 8, 2009, 12:08 AM
Wouldn't it be nice if everybody would just say "Oh, by the way, if you ever pick up mixed signals from me, let me know and I'll set you straight, ok?" So I'm saying that now. If you ever pick up mixed signals from me, let me know and I'll set you straight. Make sure you can handle the negative signals though, my honesty can be quite cruel.



Sun disappeared. Life's back to its normal suck.



The Pirate Party is going to the EU parliament. Only one seat confirmed, but a second seat is still possible. Hopefully this means a change. Hopefully democracy can be restored. Hopefully our free lives will remain free. Hopefully we can allow ourselves some hope now. I hope.



A random offline friend had to vent a couple of weeks ago. We don't know each other very well, but she ended up telling me her life story and I tried to be helpful. She mentioned how she'd often been told that the Earth is in orbit around the sun, not around her. I can't think of the proper English idiom for it, but it basically means her life isn't the center of the universe, life isn't all about her, and it's an indirect way of saying she's egoistic and self-centered. She made a good point of it though. Life is all about her. Her life is all about her. My life is all about me. Your life is all about you. Life only exists in our minds, and what we make of it depends on what else exists in our minds. You walk around day in and day out, and the closest company you'll ever have is yourself, nobody can ever be in your mind as much as you can. Of course the world is all about you! The world to you is all about how you see it. We all live in our own worlds, and telling someone else that their world doesn't matter is terrible. It's like.. Who ever gave you the right to tell me I don't exist?

And recently I was thinking about partnership. I find it strange how everyone seem to strive towards that One and Only for them. With more than 6 billion people on this planet, how can there be only One? I know some other animals pick partners for life as well, but it still doesn't make sense to me. I'm not promiscuous, I've never cheated on a man, I don't propose bigamy (marriage with many). I just don't understand the whole deal about the One and Only sharing vows Until Death Do Us Apart.

Until she told me about the multiple universes. My world is all about me. What I really want in a partner is that they know my world, I want them to know how I see Life so that when I want to vent, when I have stories to tell, when I feel like discussing important matters, they know where I'm coming from and I don't have to explain who I am just to get the point across. Searching for a life partner really is searching for someone to combine your universe with. I say combine, because it has to go both ways - your partner needs someone to know their universe too. This process takes a long time, and you don't have enough years to find a new partner. As the years go by your world expands even more, so the older you are the more difficult it gets to find that One who is willing to share the encyclopedia that is your world.

My Roze knows most everything about my universe, and he's still around. He must've found planets and solar systems in there that I've never been able to see, because I don't understand what the big deal is. I just feel like a negative, immature, and boring individual. Somehow he sees more. Or he's not very picky. Either way, he knows where I'm coming from when I speak. And even though he doesn't always agree, he lets me be me.

"Today you are you,
that is truer than true.
There is no one alive,
who is youer than you."
~ Dr Seuss

Finding your life partner is finding someone who accepts you for who you are and accepts all that you are.

Maybe one day I'll find some friends who accept parts of what I am too. I wish I could wave a magic wand and automagically find myself with a few friends around town. Someone to hang out with when I need to get out of the apartment. Why do you all live so far away? :/



I woke up late today. Someone I'd been hoping to chat with went to bed before I got up. I put 4 slices of bread in the toaster but two came out black, so with only half a breakfast I'm already hungry. I hit my head on the sink. I caught my hair in a zipper and had to tear it loose. The tram got delayed. The wind feels like ice. There's a network cable missing, so I'm writing this in offline mode waiting for one cable to be available so I can go online and press Submit. I'm still hungry. Did I mention that life is back to its normal suck? I want to get online.

I'd hate to be the one (heh, yeah right) saying "I told you so", but there probably won't be a Part Two of `Zikes' vacation journal, what with it being two months ago and all. I told you so. :roll: I wish I could take the best of that place and put it with the best of this place, and then live happily ever after in the perfect Utopia. I miss Taco Bell.



Questionaire time!

:bulletwhite: Advanced question :bulletwhite:
What does a life partner mean to you? If the answer is "love", please define love. Do you want someone to spend the rest of your life with, and if so, how do you know when you find the One? Would you prefer a refreshing change of partner every now and then, and if so, why is that better than staying with only one? Do you believe in monogamy or bigamy?

:bulletwhite: Simple question :bulletwhite:
What's your favorite color? Besides it being pretty, do you think there's a deeper reason why you like it? Name an item you like that is often found in this color.

(Mine's green, because it reminds me of nature. Green trees and green grass makes me happy, because it reminds me of all the happy summers I've had.)

Journal CSS by `nokari and `thespook
24 Comments

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconozzla:
~ozzla Jun 8, 2009, 1:07:31 AM
hiya again, you still sound a little depressed, its not much fun. Well, for the simple question I too like green, and for the same reasons as you XD also, any other colors that remind me of nature are just as good too XD.

I guess a life partner for me not only means love, but to be understood and accepted as the person I am, not by appearance or any other means. If its someone I'm going to be with for the rest of my live, they'd also have to be humorous and basically enjoyable to be around hehe
:iconozzla:
~ozzla Jun 8, 2009, 1:08:07 AM
omg, dejavu moment XD - don't mind me :P
:iconjladigital:
*jladigital Jun 8, 2009, 1:10:30 AM
You know P, I'd like to comment, but my comment will include private details I don't wish to share with the world. But all I can say is that I agree with you, except that I do understand the "One and Only sharing vows Until Death Do Us Apart", and I don't like bigamy either, even though I can do it, I choose not to.

Thanks for the great journal :)

./A

--
Left dA due to being stalked.
:iconzachriel:
=zachriel Jun 8, 2009, 2:05:20 AM
well today I'm definitely having a depressing day.

thanks for your thoughts, it's nice knowing what others think of these things.

--
"It is not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you."
Quote from Batman Begins.
:iconzachriel:
=zachriel Jun 8, 2009, 2:08:45 AM
Yeah, I guess it was a very private question... If you ever feel up for it though, I'd appreciate if you could help me understand the Death Do Us Apart thing one day. Not now, but a day when the private details don't seem so private anymore.

Thanks for reading the journal =)

--
"It is not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you."
Quote from Batman Begins.
:iconsynfull:
`Synfull Jun 8, 2009, 2:30:00 AM
I'll go for the colour question, mainly cos having had no real experience of life partnership, i'm not sure what i feel it should be. Its something i will think about more when i get there.

As for colour, you may already know this but its blue. I've always been a tomboy and after several years of people (usually family friends) constantly giving me pink stuff, i got to a stage where i rebelled. For a time (about age 7-10) lime green was my favourite colour. I'm not exactly sure why. I had lime green everything, and even today some of the stuff in my room is lime green as i have failed to replace it since changing favourite colour.

I've always been a fan of colour. I love rainbow related things, no matter what they can be assosiated with in the modern day. I guess thats why the green appealed to me. It was bright and certainly colourful. At about age 10 i switched over to blue. Part of this reason is the shift in age, but also i got sick and tired of every family member pointing out lime green stuff and expecting me to squee and want it.

Although i like most blues, i'm more of a fan of light and medium blues than dark or navy. Its certainly a tomboy colour, and it can stand out but also blend in with other colours if needed. It reminds me of the seaside or a lake. Some of my best memories have been at beaches and lakes, and visiting them is usually a treat for me in the summer time. I also feel is represents freedom. Not exactly sure why, but possibly because all the greens are restricted to land, where blues are the sea and sky. Blue skys also reminds me of summer and warmth and happiness, although if needed, blue can be turned into a cold and sad colour, so i just feel blue is the colour for me :D

--
There's always a bright side to life. It's just a matter of not being too colourblind to be able to see it.

Karen aka Synfull
Emoticons Gallery Moderator
:iconzachriel:
=zachriel Jun 8, 2009, 2:45:35 AM
I squee about everything green. In order to get in through the main door in our apartment complex we need this plastic tag thing, and when I first moved here I thought they only had red and blue. You should've seen my happiness when I realized I could have a green one, and I still - even after two years - squee about seeing it sometimes. It's a delicious green, a beautiful dragon scale color.

If I had to pick a favorite combination of colors, I'd go with either black/lime green, because it can result in a very modern look like a sexy black computer with green flashing lights, or with blue/green because of the whole nature thing again. Blue skies make me happy, and I miss the lake I grew up with terribly, but the blue also reminds me of rain and ice and sadness - things I would rather not keep in my mind.

And way for writing a long answer for the simple question. You rule :smooch:

--
"It is not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you."
Quote from Batman Begins.
:iconzachriel:
=zachriel Jun 8, 2009, 2:47:45 AM
:star: Gold star for you.

--
"It is not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you."
Quote from Batman Begins.
:iconthespook:
`thespook Jun 8, 2009, 3:36:28 AM
:)

I've come to find that long journal usually scare people away, but I enjoy them. I like to read anyhow, but it's nice to get to know people a bit better.

I should be sleeping, so I wont comment on anything of your journal in particular, but I will answer your questions at the end.

Colour first. I don't have a favourite colour. I don't have a favourite anything. I like things, and what I like will be different from time to time, but I make a point of not having a favourite. To have a favourite is to pick one thing, one experience, one facet of the jewel that is the world/universe and stick to it... and I can't do that. So, like everything in my life, I have no favourite colour.

Now. Life partner. To me, a life partner... is a partner for life. I don't think anyone should be so brash as to say they've found their life partner, but they can hope they have. It's not until you've been with them for life that you can really say they've been your life partner. I do think love is involved; which is the sort of mutual friendship that usually includes some infatuation/lust and also the will to put up with their shortcomings/negative aspects.

I don't really think too far into the future, so 'spending the rest of my life' with someone isn't a concept I put too much thought into. I'm very happy with Nadia, and I don't think I could be with anyone else, unless they had very similar personalities. But I'm with Nadia now, so that's not going to happen. :)

As for monogamy/bigamy, if all the people involved are aware of what's going on, and are cool with it, what's the matter? On the other hand, keeping a secret lover/whatever isn't cool.

:peace:
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Journal History

Features wishlist

Quick summary.
:bulletgreen: Explanation.
:bulletyellow: Optional subfeatures.
:bulletblue: Taken care of!


Message Center noises.

:bulletgreen: I want a simple noise when I have new messages in my message center.

:bulletyellow: The user decides what messages makes a noise.

:bulletyellow: The user decides what noises to make (wave files). If not possible, then at least give us a few different choices.


dAmn activity noises.

:bulletgreen: I want a simple noise when things happen on dAmn.

:bulletyellow: The user decides what kind of activity generates a noise (join/part, highlight, talking).

:bulletyellow: The user decides what noises to make (wave files). If not possible, then at least give us a few different choices.

:bulletyellow: Customizable which rooms will generate a noise, for each type of activity.

:bulletyellow: If possible, also customizable what room makes what noise.

:bulletblue: dAudible, dAlert


Browse a GM's DDs.

:bulletgreen: When I browse a Gallery Moderator's favs, it would be great to see what Daily Deviations they have awarded. It would be useful when trying to figure out whom to send the DD suggestion to - is it this GM's style to DD this kind of picture?


More customizable devwatching.

:bulletgreen: I want to watch a deviant for a certain kind of art only. As it is now, we can only pick between Deviations and Scraps, but I'd want to watch someone for their Photography or their Literature or their Vector Art, etc.

:bulletyellow: On/off for polls.

:bulletyellow: On/off for news.

:bulletyellow: On/off for favs. (Yes, I want to watch some deviants' favs).

:bulletyellow: On/off shoutboxes.


User based featuring.

:bulletgreen: Lots of deviants feature other artists in their journal - I say that should be done in a separate system, a DD like system with captions, and other deviants can decide whose features to watch. Similar to watching someone's favs, only this system allows for featuring one artist with several thumbs in one feature, as well as adding motivations.

:bulletyellow: Featured artists will get a message in their message center with the feature, as if they were watching the deviant who featured them.


Enhanced message center sorting.

:bulletgreen: Recently having 1,000 new messages in one day, I found a flaw in the message center. I'd want to be able to sort incoming messages by person, so I can see right away if this new watcher also faved or commented, without having to plow through hundreds of messages.

:bulletyellow: Sort by item, so all favs for a certain deviation ends up separated from the favs of another deviation. Comments on one journal separated from comments on another journal.


dAmn logs.

:bulletgreen: Readable chat logs of the chatrooms I've been in. Only for when I was actually there.

:bulletyellow: Chat logs could be permanently stored on dA's servers (so that they won't be saved once for every person who was there - duplicated data is never good), and deviants would get access to the logs based on the times they join or leave a room.

:bulletyellow: Chat logs formatted in a way that I can just do copy/paste into my journal and the journal will display it as-was.

:bulletyellow: A chat log module for user pages. Our own personal dAmn.it so we can share the best moments of dAmn with our visitors.


dAmn wikipedia links

:bulletgreen: Everything surrounded by [[ and ]] automatically turns into wikipedia links.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/word

Forum

Start a thread

So... 

48%
32 deviants said Sex.
37%
25 deviants said Gaming.
15%
10 deviants said Chatting.
16 comments, Previous Polls

Are my journals too long? 

53%
21 deviants said Whatever girl, it's your journal and your choice.
18%
7 deviants said What?! They're too short!
13%
5 deviants said Some of them are, yeah.
10%
4 deviants said I have another opinion and you'll never know what.
5%
2 deviants said Yes, I can't be bothered reading the long ones at all.
3%
1 deviant said I have another opinion and I will comment.
3 comments, Previous Polls

Does it bother you that my emoticons are at a different account? 

58%
26 deviants said No.
22%
10 deviants said Huh? You make emoticons?
20%
9 deviants said Yes.
No comments, Previous Polls

If I were to update my journal several times one day, what would you prefer? 

47%
16 deviants said Notify the watchers.
41%
14 deviants said DON'T notify the watchers.
12%
4 deviants said Other, comment.
7 comments, Previous Polls

What are you watching me for? 

31%
11 deviants said I like pie
23%
8 deviants said Something else (please comment)
20%
7 deviants said Your journal
14%
5 deviants said Emoticons (wrong account, silly)
9%
3 deviants said Pixel art
3%
1 deviant said Vector art
0%
No deviants said Photography
0%
No deviants said Poetry
0%
No deviants said Other art (please comment)
20 comments, Previous Polls

Do you like dAmn? 

43%
19 deviants said Yeah :D
23%
10 deviants said Of course :o
23%
10 deviants said dAmn? :confused:
11%
5 deviants said Nah, not really :shrug:
10 comments, Previous Polls

Are you happy? 

64%
28 deviants said Yes.
36%
16 deviants said No.
22 comments, Previous Polls

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